Sunday, February 7, 2010

Old memories...

As I moved many of my photos from one folder to another I came across two pictures that made me giggle.  It's a photo of 4 y/o.  I had spent almost 4 weeks away from my family at sea, the time was stressful and I was having a hard time dealing with being separated from my family.  Times spent at sea away from family get lonely, yea, you are surrounded by tons of people, but I found that only a select few could relate to my feelings of stress and anxiety being away from my family....  On this particular day, we pulled in pierside late... I was tired, had duty the next day, and wanted to see my 4 y/o more than anything in the world.  I always had the fear that I would come home and he would not want to hug me, or worse... remember who I was.  That anxious feeling was kicking me in the back this day I came home.  But all that anxiety faded when I walked in the door of my house, 4 y/o must have heard he door open because he came running to see who was coming in his house... The smile on his face let me know~ he missed his mommy. 

I took this picture as I walked in the house and it captured a face happy to see his mom walk in the door after being gone for what may have felt like an eternity to him. I cried on this day because my sweetie remembered who I was, and I also laughed, if you look in the background you will see hubby asleep on the floor.. It is obvious my little sweetie was watching himself this particular day and hubby was not aware that I was returning from sea.  Poor hubby was worn (and remained so for the next 3+ years!)
but that's over now, no more leaving in the middle of the night for days, weeks, or months at a time.  No more phone calls home to say "I won't be home because of 'operational commitment'".  I am now able to live everyday to the fullest with my family and friends.  I will try not dwell on the past for this is time I can not get back... I am happy to enjoy the time I have now and for years to come.  It feels great to be mom, wife, and friend all over again without the thought sad thought of "it's time to go to sea.... again...".

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