Monday, October 12, 2009

communication through "I" messages... (old post dated 5/28/08)

Today I spent 4 hours in a training session about domestic violence, stress, finances, and communication. I found the communication portion interesting and decided to post it to see how others communicated through "I" messages.

they say one of the most effective ways to keep communication open is by avoiding "you" messages and by using "I" messages as to avoid putting the other person on the defensive or the one to blame for an unpleasant situation. there are 3 distinct parts of "I" messages... 1) "I feel" 2) "when" and 3) "because I". what you are suppose to do with the messages below is convert the "you" message to an "I" message. It is important to remember to use the words "because I" together because it forces the speaker to clarify the real issue.

I'm curious to see how some people respond, one young lady did the exercise in class and it really confused me... we'll go into that in a bulletin... enjoy and keep communication strong!
EXAMPLE:

YOU message: You drive entirely too fast.

I message: I feel frightened when you drive so quickly because I'm scared we'll get into an accident.

YOUR TURN:

~ YOU message: You never stay home any more

I message: ___________________________

~ YOU message: You're always nagging at me.

I message: _____________________________

~ YOU message: You never want to have sex anymore.

I message: ___________________________

~ YOU message: You're always on the Internet when work needs to be done.

I message: ____________________________

~ YOU message: You never notice what I wear.

I message: ___________________________

~ YOU message: You talk about people too much

I message: ____________________________

Improving communication through "I" messages are suppose to be helpful in working through a sensitive issue... you decide....

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