Wednesday, October 28, 2009

14 y/o



I seem to have lost my way with my 14 y/o.  The first grading period from school brought in 1 C, 2 Ds, and 1 E... (formerly known as the "F")  this is what schools do now adays to keep children from feeling like failures.  The school has set up a system of online grading that gives parents full access to grades earned each week, these grades are updated 2 to 4 times a week for some teachers, once a week for others.  Some of the teachers have all class and homework assignments listed on the site so that parents may view what's due, what was done, and what is coming up in the following weeks. 

Because I have access to this, I am able to see that my 14 y/o has managed to fall from 2 D's to 2 E's and 2 C's, because of this, I do what any parent would do.  Call the school to set up a meeting with the teachers to see what is going on and how we... as a group... can work to fix the problem.  I came out of the meeting feeling a sence of accomplishment with the many alternatives that will my 14 y/o improve and excel this school year... what seemed like a good idea has turned into a joke for him (literally).  I have found him to be the most honest person on earth and all of his teachers are compulsive liers, the way they teach their lessons are confusing (thus 14 y/o doesn't understand ANYthing he has been taught...)  when I asked him if he needed to go into special ed classes (considering EVERY class he has now are the basic fundamental classes) he states, "the classes i have not are not that hard, I just don't understand them.."

He is starting to piss me offt and there is not a day that goes by that he does not make me want to lock him in his room.  Everything is a joke to him, he was asked to do his laundry on Saturday~ it is now Wednesday night and his room smells like dog poo, feet, and old ass.   I asked him to load the dishwasher, he lets the dishes stack up on the sink until I wash them myself.  Today I asked him to rake up the pine needles in the front yard so that I can use them on one of the flower beds... he started at 5 this afternoon... at about 7:30, he was still standing in the middle of the yard with the rake in his hand... Then he has the nerve to say "Can you buy me..."  When I tell him no, he gives me this look like I owe HIM something.  in his mind, his life is so unfair compared to his friends.  His friends are not passing or doing well in school but they all get to go to the party this weekend, doesn't understand that those are not my kids and I don't control what goes on in their house hold.  I'm unfair because he has D's and E's and can't play his playstation or PSP, I'm unfair because he refuses to do his homework so he spends his day in his room instead of watching t.v.  did i mention his teachers are all compulsive liers?  there is a conspiracy against him... 

In 3 years, 14 y/o will turn 18... and will probably NOT graduate...

What does one do with an 18 y/o who has refused to understand that it is time to live on their own?  I left my home 5 months after I graduated from school.  My husband (step-dad) left his home at 17 with a signiture from his parents, Cedric's real dad (loser) still living close to mom, in mom's old house, probably selling drugs for a living and making more babies by as many women as possible paying the bare minimum for child support for each one... 

You know, I remember the time when a person who did not graduate from high school could always find a career in the military.  That is no more, the military has moved from acceptance of all to only taking the qualified person who is willing to work, earn a degree, and motivate others to do the same... McDonalds, great for when you are in high school, cool after high school, even better for someone who has retired and only looking for a couple of hours in their day to make it go by quicker... McDonalds as a career.... I don't know.  Can one do that without a high school diploma or GED?  I really don't think he understands the severity of the future ahead of him. 

He says he wants to be an astronomer~  I don't take his dreams away by reminding him he isn't even passing Earth Science... the most basic of science offered next to special classes- I don't knock him down... I keep the dream alive.  But I do ask why he wants to do this job, he says, "it's not hard work, they only look at stars and study the galaxy..." 14 Y/O!!!  this is what he thinks!!!

I'm just really aggitated, he has no grasp of the reality ahead, the reason he fails is because our rules make him fail, the teachers lie about his work, and he doesn't understand anything they teach.  his life is everyone elses fault, not his.  I'm at a loss, what direction does one go?  can't send him to the worst place ever (his dad) he'll be the biggest loser ever (not in a good lose weight way either!) what ever... the more i type the more pissed off i become...

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